Hey, I just met you...

DISCLAIMER:  No offense intended, just a collation of laughs.

Hey I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me maybe.

Hey I just met you,

And this is crazy,

But I ate bath salts,

Your face looks tasty.

Hey I just met you,

And this is crazy,

But here's my laundry,

So wash it maybe.

Hey I just met you,

And this is crazy,

What brand's your make up,

Crayola maybe?

Hey I just met you,

And you're a lady,

So here's a kitchen,

Sandwich maybe?

Hey I just met you,

And this is crazy,

My dingo escaped,

And ate your baby.

Hey I just met you,

And this is crazy,

I suck at rhyming,

Refrigerator.

Hey I just met you,

And this is crazy,

Going to Walmart,

Doritos maybe?

Hey I just met you,

You didn't study,

So here's a textbook,

Look at it maybe.

*Dumbledore*

Hey I just met you,

And this is crazy,

Your sister's dead now,

So here's her baby!

Salutations for I have just now made your acquaintance,

And this is surely unreasonable,

Yet herein lies the details of my abode,

Thus you can commune with me perchance?